As I said before, I'm training for a half marathon on the 13th of October. I "ran" one two years ago and it was terrible, claiming I'd never escalate my walking pace again. Well, here now two years later I signed up again. My first official day to start training isn't until the 22nd (this Sunday). In preparation for this big day, I wanted to make sure I could at least run three miles. I've been doing it in 32-34 minutes (walk/run) and have not been able to run all the way through. My pace, I must mention, is very slow as I weigh a lot and my sprints in high school were obsolete. I think I ran the mile in 7:14 in 8th grade, pretty sure I was on the verge of passing out. You get the hint. I'm heading out of town for a girls' weekend today and figured I would attempt 3 miles one more time. It went like this:
Whew! Exhausted. How long have I been running? Check watch: hmm 4:30 (that's minutes and seconds of course). Check watch again, 5:05. Suddenly, my body took a break and didn't even ask my mind if I was ready. I suddenly noticed I was walking.
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Not Fast, must I mention
I let myself walk for one minute and forward I went. I made it up the hill and assumed I could run down it. I did. Yay! Then onward: watch check? 10:15. I've been running for 5 more minutes. I am so awesome. And this is where things get horrific. A fox ran out of the woods onto the road. (I also had realized I hadn't run 5 minutes, just since I walked. Damn). Back to this fox; it stared at me and I figured "I can't possibly run UP this hill with that fox guarding it like Didymus protecting the bridge to The Eternal Bog of Stench (Labyrinth anyone?)" So I took a hard left and ran down the hill and went the wrong way. Now I was faced with a 90 degree hill that I had to climb. Why? Why me?
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Up the hill I went while repeating the I Am Awesome mantra. Now, as I reached the top, gasping for air and looking like I had just surfaced from drowning, I spotted two young guys. I wanted this run to appear effortless so instead of running, I walked hoping to pass with ease and of course, looking striking. I'm pretty sure the only way I appeared effortless and striking was because I was wearing see-through capris with bright pink underpants and a cut off bright orange shirt. Foraging on. Crap, another hill. Running up yet another hill, I felt I deserved a break. I began walking again when my next obstacle appeared. This was beginning to be quite a quest. Who am I Odysseus? Then I saw it. A giant Boston Terrier. He looked vicious and maybe...rabid?
This wild boar began chasing me: good. I needed a little motivation. Once out of the monster's reach.... I quit. I just wasn't cut out for the conquest anymore. Forget it. I'll never be a runner, or a jogger, just a wogger. I walked the last half mile home and thought, "This must be one of those runners' lows." Screw it; I'll wait 'til Monday.
We'll see what happens on Monday.
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