A: Automobile Accident
Now, I've heard this story a number of times. I find it hysterical, however, Mom finds it embarrassing, scary, and sad. Against what you may believe, I was a girly girl until about eight. I would wear dresses, big bows, and matching jewelry. On my birthday, I was "dolled" up even more. According to my aunt, when she showed up at the house for my soiree, I wasn't in my usual garb. Instead I had a tear-streaked face, and holy jeans that were covered in blood. Poor, poor Mom. She realized she didn't have ice cream for cake time and had to run to the grocery store quick. Now, you must remember this is the 80s. As she turned the corner, the door swung open and I flew out. Since I'm about as strong as Rambo, Van Damme, Schwarzenegger, or any fitting man from The Expendables, I held on to that car door for my life. And because of my super-human strength, I lived to see another day. I'm pretty sure I wasn't even close to death, considering it was 20 mph, but still. It sounds a little tougher.
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| Not actual photo, although it's completely realistic. Source. |
B: Bawling
When my youngest brother was born, I did what any great big sissy would do...I cried in my room for about three days. I had my heart set on having a little sister. One I would be able to bond with, dress up with, compete against, and be a leader to. Ok, let's be honest. I just wanted someone else who would have to wear a dress and aforementioned bows the size of her head. I envisioned us in high school, driving a convertible, (please, I wasn't exactly realistic at 4 years old) on double dates. I was also tall and skinny in the future self. Only to have my dreams smashed by having another little brother. Poor kid, he was bullied before he was even born.
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| And those are my little brothers-- not so little |
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